• 3 Reasons Why We Can Get Stuck in Life

    “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become” – Carl Jung

    Ever feel like you are just stuck in your life? Maybe your relationships are not going the way you would like, things are problematic at work or you just feel like you are not reaching your potential and growing into the person that you are meant to be. You may be thinking “there has got to be more to my life than this…”. Below are some common reasons why our lives can feel like ground-hog day.

    Trauma

    One common reason for being stuck may be due to unresolved life trauma. Trauma can come in many different forms from natural disasters, to auto accidents, to various forms of exposure to violence or abuse. What is important to recognize is that trauma can impact the state of our mind, body and relationships with others and the world. This can cause us to unconsciously repeat unhealthy patterns in our lives. In many cases, trauma does not casually heal or correct itself over time in the way that a cut would. The adage that “time heals all wounds” is not necessarily true when it comes to trauma. This is because trauma keeps us stuck in the past and unable to move forward. It can re-wire our brain and body’s fear and threat response system making it difficult to feel safe, trusting and comfortable in order to interact with others and the world.

    The good news is that our lives are not defined by the past and there is something that can be done about our trauma. The body and mind have a remarkable capacity to heal given the right conditions. With the help of trained professionals, we can heal from our trauma and live more present, meaningful and fulfilling lives.

    Limiting Beliefs, Thoughts or Mindset

    The human mind is more powerful than we think. It can do everything from generating powerful emotions such as love and fear to figuring out how to develop rockets that can fly to other planets. Our own thoughts and beliefs about ourselves, others and the world can influence the filters by which we experience and operate within it. Unfortunately, sometimes these can limit our lives and our potential.

    For example, thoughts of self-criticism such as “there’s no way I can get that job, I’m just not good enough…” are likely to keep us fixed into our current state of mind and condition. What are the chances that we will seize the next opportunity for growth if we tell ourselves that we are not good enough? We will most likely stay just where we are. Our patterns of thought and belief can hold us back in life when they are negative, distorted, irrational or just not helpful to dwell on.

    Not to worry, there is good news! We have the power to choose what we think, feel and how we act in the world. We are the ones in control of ourselves. This is simple and yet profound. It means that we can learn to train our minds to develop healthier patterns of thinking, feeling and acting that can make dramatic differences in our lives.

    Sense of Identity

    Not knowing who we are can make it difficult to navigate the world, especially in today’s digital age of information where everything from Facebook to reality TV tries to tell us who we should be, who we should look like, and who we should act like. In the process we can feel like we have lost our authentic selves and lack direction in life. After all, how can we know where to go or what to do in life if we are unsure of who we are in the first place?

    Unfortunately, there is no simple formula for self-discovery and exploration. It is a journey and a process that can last a lifetime. What really matters is what we learn about ourselves, others and about the world along the way. Maybe that says something about who we are?

    It can also be helpful to inwardly reflect more on our own lives with the aid of practices such as meditation, mindfulness and journaling. What are the things in life that truly uplift, exhilarate or stimulate your mind and heart? How about those that provide meaning and purpose? What are the things that have the opposite effect and bring you down, bore you, or disinterest you? Maybe those also say something about who you are too? Remember, the important thing is to keep learning and growing as you become the best version of yourself.

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